Out of my true heart

None of them talked about what had happened, during the following days.

As time passed, they continued their way through Duskwood and Redrige Mountains, following side roads at night and sleeping during the day, to avoid Alliance patrols. Otherwise, traveling was pleasant, almost relaxing, Eireannan thought, a luxury they were going to miss soon, as the hardest part of their journey, the Searing Gorge and the Burning Steppes lay ahead.

Then, in Lakeshire, late after midnight, when all villagers were asleep in their beds, he had picked another letter, probably sent a few days before, in anticipation of their route.

This time, it wasn’t written by Daria, but by one of his lieutenants.

“We heard that you are coming back to us and you can’t imagine how good news that is. Without you, the Shadowmoon is worthless. Take care though, as there’s a bounty on your head all across Alliance controlled territories and the S.C. are looking for you everywhere.

P.S. : D’s in Hillsbrad Fields. Again.”

It was in that last night in Redrige Mountains, close to Render’s Camp, when Laandra noticed his absent mindedness, as she was laying plans ahead for the next day.

She sat next to him, by the fire and rolled bandages, her thin fingers moving with such a speed that he could barely follow her gestures. She’d always do something in her spare time,unable to stand inactivity for too long. The night was calm, a soft, warm breeze rustling through their hair and clothing in the narrow ravine where they have found shelter.
Eireannan sighed, letting himself slide backwards, into the grass, eyes lost in the immensity of the starlit sky, as he realized that, in the past few days, his mind and soul had been filled with something he had had to make an effort to recognize. Peace.

Oooo, he hadn’t been at peace with himself ever since the massacre of Stratholme. Not even after returning to Quel’Thalas, after all was over. Images followed him. Fear did too. Fear that he may end up like a walking corpse somewhere in Scourge controlled lands. That his will may no longer be his own. How many times did Niniel hold him through the night and even then he would still wake up sweating and screaming, trying to break free from her arms?

Closing his eyes he drifted into thought. It was Laandra, he said to himself with a smile, her presence naturally reassuring and calming. No need for words, a simple glance and a nod usually enough to reach agreement as they journeyed through dangerous lands. She would tell stories about her early years in Bloodmyst Isle and Ashenvale and Eireannan had soon realized it was her way too keep a sense of purpose. One of the Blades of Argus then, still one now, despite everything that she had done. She had betrayed no one, less of all her own conscience and this was what kept her going.
He sighed again and then, eyes still closed, he heard the sound of soft movements, as Laandra put aside her bandages and lay beside him in the grass.

“Somethin’s worrying you”, she observed, again matter-of-factly. “The letter”.

“Yeah”, Eireannan acknowledged. Rolling on the side he opened his eyes and let the thoughts he had kept at bay for a while reclaim his attention. “Daria.”

“Bad news?” Laandra turned to face him.

“She’s…”. Eireannan’s voice broke, unexpectedly, as the wave of feelings rushed over him. “She’ll kill herself one day. She never really recovered after all she’d been through when…”

Another sigh. “I didn’t. And I was way better prepared for it. Daria was only twelve when the Scourge burnt down her village…”

“ For a while, after I found her, I was afraid she’ll never be sane again. I did all I could. But then Silvermoon fell and I was barely of any help for myself…”

“Oh, she’s a great warrior and someone to entrust your life to. But…she places no value upon her own being. Running around, trying all sorts of man, some worse than the rest…each time she disappears I’m sure to find her half broken and bloodied, as if there’s nothing left to feel but the pain…”

“No” he added in anguish, “she does not hide her tracks too well. She knows I’ll go for her. But one day, I won’t be there in time. Like today. And it scares me like hell to think..that this time…she may push it too far, this game…and die…”

“Maybe we should get her out of there, for a while. There are definitely better places to be in than the Plaguelands to gain back inner equilibrium.”

“Like Ashenvale”, Eireannan smiled. She had said “we”.

“Like Ashenvale”, Laandra agreed. “Meditation hasn’t hurt anyone.” She shuddered. “Maybe I need something of that myself”, she blurted out and Eireannan suddenly realized he had expected those words for days. Laandra was simply not the type of person to keep regrets and frustration inside for too long.

“ What I did, that night…”. Her features tensed. “ I lost control. I hurt you. And the worst thing of all is that I didn’t care. In that second I didn’t care about you, about anything else than having it ALL…!”

“I shouldn’t have let you try it”, Eireannan whispered, extending a hand to caress her hair. “I knew how it feels like. What it means…”

Laandra reached out to take his hand, then, unexpectedly, brought it to her lips. Her smile was a bit shaken, yet a smile, nonetheless and Eireannan felt tension dissolving, as affection melted the ice around his own heart.

“ Yet now I know…what you must face…and resist…” she said, quietly. “How high the price is…”

“Laan…”

“ What you go through and yet manage to remain yourself. I couldn’t…”. Laandra struggled with her overwhelming emotions, then gave him another small, almost painful smile. “ I love you, Eriean…”