Burn me to ashes

There was light at the windows.

People gathered inside the little house, Vaalatu, and Tolaan, Anchorite Fateema and Vindicator Corin, under whom she had served when she had barely joined the Hand.

Laandra climbed up the path and opened the door. They all turned on the spot and looked at her, their faces betraying uneasiness and insecurity...as if she were a dangerous species of corrupted being, they still didn't know how to handle.

Her clothes, so clean in the morning, were dirty and torn in places. Patches of burnt vegetation staking on them. There was indeed a trail of blaze out there, in the wild, where she had walked. Killing every maddened creature in sight. Never felt better to just destroy. And with each blast, with each fireball, her memories came back, like a stream of gushing water over stones.

Laandra Seth'aran, Mage of the Hand of Argus.

"We did not want to hurt you", Vaalatu pleaded, her eyes nearly filled with tears. "Just help, keep you safe..."

" Corruption had spread to your soul...It was the only way to save what was left of you...", Tolaan continued, his eyes downcast, as if it would have been too much of an effort to just face her.

"By modifying my memories? Mind control, Soothing and who knows what else ?" she burst out. " There is only one path of Light and that is TRUTH! I fulfilled my part of the bargain. I stood up for what I believed. And this is what I deserve in return?"

Anger.

" What is corruption?" Laandra continued, her frustration increasing as she spoke " To care for someone? To believe in redemption? Is this corruption?"

She pointed out an accusing finger to Tolaan.

" That one single soul that is lost can be brought back to see the truth and believe. And for each soul that is so saved there is more Light than for the souls of those who have never strayed...because they have seen the darkness and they have risen upon it and conquered it...' Isn't this your teaching? "

They all looked stricken, saddened expressions on their faces. Laandra brought her arms in her lap, then hugged herself, as if trying to become invisible, to protect from an imminent blow.

"You've lied to me", she said softly, as tears started to flow down her cheeks. " Broke my faith, as if it were nothing... But did I betray you?"


"There's no evidence you did", Vindicator Corin muttered, in a low voice. " But it is better to prevent that to cure... After all we've all been through, fighting against the blood elves on Bloodmyst..."

"The Hand was all I had."

" You weren't in your right mind, girl", Vaalatu intervened. " A summoner of demons? What in the name of the Legion where you thinking?"

" You were confused", Tolaan added, softly. "When they brought you to us you were fighting, saying you have to go back. We all did what we thought was it was better. Separating you from the source of your anguish, restoring the peace of mind you had lost. You have always been alone, from what I could remember. And I...I did care...and my daughter...her mother died when the Exodar crashed...she needed affection and..." The priest's voice broke, into something like a sob. " I just tried to...give you the warmth of a family...a place to belong..."

Memories where all there this time, Laandra thought. As long as it lasted. Mornings to wake up by his side, feeling safe, protected from the world. The serene expression on Sygnya's little face...probably he had tampered a little with the girl's own memories as well, to make her accept Laandra as as a step-mother. It felt sweet and peaceful. It felt like home. Something you could grow used to and indulge in.

But it was all a lie.

And it damn hurt.

It hurt to wake up and remember that it had been nothing more than a dream.

It hurt to lose.

It hurt to think of Erieannan.

Oh, it even hurt to bloody live!

Laandra scrambled to her feet, shaking a bit. She only started to realize the state in which her clothes were, her hands covered in small blisters, from all the power inside, which she did not yet manage to control and release properly.

Tolaan made a gesture as if to stop her. Make her sit down and remove the pain from her hands. The ashes, the smell of smoke...Wash her clean of herself. Just a prayer.

But, eyes wide open, she could only see other hands, as slender as hers, with long, shapely fingers, but scarred by fire. Hands that brought agony, and yet, could touch so softly...

She slowly pushed Tolaan away, staggering towards the back room. Change her clothes, pack up her things. Lay awake and dream, while they all tried to bring her back to reason.

There was no reason.

Only feelings, strange, so strong, engulfing her soul, burning away all sense of clarity.

No", she muttered..."this is something I don't wanna be healed of..."