Self denial

Blinking away her tears, Laandra climbed further, oblivious at the thorns that tore at her clothing and left small, bleeding wounds all over her arms. She went deeper and deeper into Moongraze Woods that towered upon Azure Watch. Desperately wishing she could just get far enough from the place that used to be her home...no, not from there, far enough from herself, her twisted, stupid emotions...

"It was only a night..."

"But it screwed up you mind, your life and now it gets to the most important thing of all. Your duty..."

" I have no feelings for that man..."

" Who are you trying to trick?"

No, the world was definitely coming to an end and the sickness inside threatened to send her vomiting into the bushes. A very proud thing to do, for an honored member of the Hand!

She stopped near the top of the hill and perched down under some branches, finding herself a good spot to seat. Hugging her knees with her arms, as if trying to protect from an invisible threat, Laandra brethead heavily, the suffering inside growing more acute with each passing second.

Truth was she hated to be made to choose.

Better said, choosing with one option open, the other ones representing such infamies that she could not even consider them. And the available, obvious choice, was in itself sort of a betrayal...to someone she owned nothing, nonetheless, yet still a betrayal.

Why wasn't she able to tell Prophet Velen that she refused the assignment?

" Sure, she muttered to herself, just go on, tell him you cannot do it 'cause you're personally involved with the enemy. Oh, a blood elf, by the way. And a warlock. A summoner of demons and a wielder of shadow magic, to make it clear...Damn it, Laandra, you have taste in men!"

Anger. Denial. Bitterness.

And the memories, flooding her like a river.

Humiliating to the very end, she started to cry.